I dont really mind waiting in line to check out at the grocery store. If truth be told, the trend toward faster check-outs irritates me a little. I know, most Americans living our busy lives get irritated by long lines, and merchants have increasingly responded to our lack of patience by providing express lanes, "limited number" lines, and self-checkout, as well as increased staff in high-volume hours.
See, I learned a while back, that there is plenty of interesting reading material available for those who have to wait in line. There is always a magazine which has the latest information on fashion, or diets, or the results of a nation-wide poll on "how to find your love," or "how to keep your love," or "how to get your love back." There may be a magazine with the latest reproduction results of the beautiful, the talented, or the rich. And, usually there is at least one magazine, if not more, that covers the same stories Nancy Grace covers on her nightly "news show." Please, do not mistake the previous sentence for an endorsement of Grace. If you are surfing channels and stop on her show for about a minute, you will discover the latest newsworthy conversation on who is missing, kidnapped, or murdered in our society.
And that brings me to the cover of a magazine I saw yesterday that said, "Casey Anthony, the Most Hated Woman in America."
Why does everyone want to hate Casey? Why do people want her in prison? The jury listened to the presentations and witnesses of the trial, and found her guilty of a minor infraction of child neglect.
We want to hate her because she "lost" her child. If any one of us lost our child, we'd find ourselves investigated, tried, and convicted of child abandonment, endangerment, and anything else Child Protective Services could throw at us. It doesn't seem real that a woman could lose her child and not be punished severely.
The news media believes bad news sells. Nancy Grace and others like her believe there is always a "bad guy." Well, maybe there is, but there are an awful lot of us out here who are crazy scared we might, out of ignorance, allow something to happen to our children. All of us may be more worried about what we may or may not do to our children, than we are afraid that a neighbor may be a serial child murderer.
Oh the things I think about in the check-out line.
So we hate Casey because she had the same responsibilities we have as parents and grandparents. She failed miserably. We can forget our worries if we hate her.
Anyway, there are a lot of things to think about in the check-out line, and those tabloids can provide amusement and thoughtful reflection.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
The "Why" in Our Lives
I suppose all of us, at different times in our lives, wonder "why" there is racism and other negative "isms" in our world.
We see others' negative behavior in all kinds of situations, day in and day out. And we know it is predicated on their understanding of their world. It is their visible actions of the negative "isms" they hold to be true.
In turn, there are times we exhibit those same behaviors. Oh, don't try to say, "Not me!" Because we know, all of us, at some time or other, are guilty of behavior based on our own negative "isms."
Its not pretty to admit to them, and we would rather remember those times when we have been especially inclusive, or compassionate, or welcoming. But this other part of our selves stares at us in introspective moments.
A very long time ago, twenty-five years or so, I was in a women-only support group. All of us were American-born, except one woman. She was a very bright intellectual who happened to be born in another country, far, far away. I am not proud of the way my interactions with her progressed, and without going into detail, I confess, I am still bothered today by my ignorance and rudeness.
Thankfully, at some point in my life, I began to grow as a human being. My belief in the worth and dignity of each person, and my desire to be more respectful of others' spiritual growth, even though it was different than mine, became paramount in my life. I confess, I was in my forties before this attitude became central to my psyche.
It was well into my fifties before I gained a real understanding of compassion, which I am sometimes, and which I am not at other times, even when I need to be. I continue to explore this.
The "why" of my negative behavior predicated on my personal "isms," is that I grew up in a very homogenous environment, and I was always more comfortable with those who looked like me than those who looked different than me. If we look closely, we see this dynamic in many human behaviors.
It is easier to be comfortable in all our "isms"; it is easier to live our understanding of the world that we know, than it is to change and embrace difference.
The "why" is as deep as our genetics and as wide as our cultures. And the worst part of all this?
It takes some of us a lifetime, if we grew up with a lot of negative "isms." And even those of us who grew up in a more progressive environment, we still have to overcome the genetic and cultural inclinations to be comfortable with sameness. And some of us never feel the need nor the necessity of opening ourselves to differences.
Perhaps we will someday be able to embrace each others' differences. From where I'm sitting, it looks like it will be a long time before that will happen. Maybe it is something future generations will be able to do. For today, all we can do is change ourselves. All we can do is answer our own, very personal "why."
We see others' negative behavior in all kinds of situations, day in and day out. And we know it is predicated on their understanding of their world. It is their visible actions of the negative "isms" they hold to be true.
In turn, there are times we exhibit those same behaviors. Oh, don't try to say, "Not me!" Because we know, all of us, at some time or other, are guilty of behavior based on our own negative "isms."
Its not pretty to admit to them, and we would rather remember those times when we have been especially inclusive, or compassionate, or welcoming. But this other part of our selves stares at us in introspective moments.
A very long time ago, twenty-five years or so, I was in a women-only support group. All of us were American-born, except one woman. She was a very bright intellectual who happened to be born in another country, far, far away. I am not proud of the way my interactions with her progressed, and without going into detail, I confess, I am still bothered today by my ignorance and rudeness.
Thankfully, at some point in my life, I began to grow as a human being. My belief in the worth and dignity of each person, and my desire to be more respectful of others' spiritual growth, even though it was different than mine, became paramount in my life. I confess, I was in my forties before this attitude became central to my psyche.
It was well into my fifties before I gained a real understanding of compassion, which I am sometimes, and which I am not at other times, even when I need to be. I continue to explore this.
The "why" of my negative behavior predicated on my personal "isms," is that I grew up in a very homogenous environment, and I was always more comfortable with those who looked like me than those who looked different than me. If we look closely, we see this dynamic in many human behaviors.
It is easier to be comfortable in all our "isms"; it is easier to live our understanding of the world that we know, than it is to change and embrace difference.
The "why" is as deep as our genetics and as wide as our cultures. And the worst part of all this?
It takes some of us a lifetime, if we grew up with a lot of negative "isms." And even those of us who grew up in a more progressive environment, we still have to overcome the genetic and cultural inclinations to be comfortable with sameness. And some of us never feel the need nor the necessity of opening ourselves to differences.
Perhaps we will someday be able to embrace each others' differences. From where I'm sitting, it looks like it will be a long time before that will happen. Maybe it is something future generations will be able to do. For today, all we can do is change ourselves. All we can do is answer our own, very personal "why."
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