Home at Christmas May Be Somewhere Else

For all of us who can't go home for  Christmas, know that we are not alone. And there are as many reasons as there of us.

How many times have I suggested to another that it is all right not to go home. It is all right to create one's family from friends who love us, who accept us, and who do not judge. It is all right to create a family that will be with us when we most need them, and who will be there when joy is abundant.

Yes, I know how painful it can be to "not go home." Even after we have our family who loves us and with whom we will be spending the holiday, it can be painful.

Some may laugh and say, "Yes, painful as in the pain you feel when you're abused, but you love your parent anyway!" What seems natural, may not always be wholesome.

Remember, for reasons of health and sanity, we have to let go, really let go, and "let God." Or, as Buddha would say, it is only because we are attached that we have pain. When it is for our emotional and spiritual well-being, we need to practice non-attachment.

For to let go is really to acquire something greater.

And as you build an alternative home to which you can go at Christmas, be assured, that you are among many, too many, who have to do the same.

God is Back! ... for those UUs Who Believe in Religious Freedom

Our faith is a free religious faith. It allows all of us to make a

difference in our community and in our world.

In the latest UUWorld there is an article “Faith in Our Future.” Five UU ministers of some of the largest churches in the UUA were invited to share their thoughts on the future of Unitarian Universalism. The occasion was a symposium to celebrate the fifty years of the UUA. They were supposed to address the challenges of the future and what Unitarian Universalists need to do to ensure the continued existence of, as one minister wrote, our “miniscule” presence.

UUWorld Winter 2011

It struck me that each minister used the metaphor “G-d” in her/his talk. And one even said they pray in his church, even though “… they do not share a common understanding or experience of G-d.” Praying out loud, he wrote, reminds them of “their shared hopes” for their community and for each other.

It wasn’t that long ago when more than half of the men who signed the Humanist Manifesto of 1933 were Unitarian or Universalist ministers, professors, or in some way had a connection to Unitarian or Universalist religion. The Manifesto declared, “We are convinced that the time has passed for theism, deism, modern­ism, and the several varieties of ‘new thought.’"  

Now, seventy-eight years since the first Humanist Manifesto and G-d’s back!

Intense debate at Harvard and the University of Chicago Divinity Schools, Meadville Lombard Theological School, and Unitarian gatherings continued throughout second and third decades of the Twentieth Century. James Luther Adams and Gene Reed were the leading exponents of their rival views: Adams being a Unitarian Christian and Reed being a Unitarian humanist. However, it must suffice, that the debate raged, and sometimes the seminarians and professors were enraged; I’ve heard it said there was more than one time when “it almost came to blows,” whether humanists should leave the Unitarian churches and go down the street, so-to-speak, and join humanist societies or free religious societies.

Eventually, everyone agreed that the free religious church called Unitarian could handle deists, theists, and atheists.

Unfortunately, the atheists soon outnumbered the theists and deists and made anything spiritual, taboo. And there are storical justifications for this. It continued this way until about a decade and a half ago. Then UU ministers began to be brave enough to speak of their personal, spiritual inclinations. Which in turn, gave those deists and theists in the UU congregations the courage to speak out about their beliefs.

So, now, some are beginning to believe G-d has as much to do with science, as it has to do with spirit. And Thoreau said it so many years ago.

"With all your science can you tell

how it is, and whence it is

that light comes into the soul?"

~ Henry David Thoreau

In the book Why God Won't Go Away: Brain Science and the Biology of Belief, Andrew Newberg, Eugene D'Aquili, and Vince Rause study the brain while sub­jects enter deep meditative states. Using advanced imaging equipment, they have found an area of the brain that is affected and acts differently when their subjects meditate. It seems the part of the brain that places us in time and space is affected by meditation, and when this happens, the Self begins to see itself as limitless. They quote Eknath Easwaran to give us an idea of what happens:

As the river[s] flowing east and west

Merge into the sea and become one with it

Forgetting that they were ever separate rivers,

So do all creatures lose their separateness

When they merge at last into … [One]

This brings me to the salient point of my Words today: Our faith is a free religious faith. It allows all of us to make a difference in our community and in our world as One. No other faith—only a free religious faith—can do that. When we believe in something, whether it is atheism, Humanism, deism, theism, Buddhism, Daoism, or Other, if we practice that belief, then we find the courage, strength, desire, and hope to make the world better and to make ourselves better. It doesn’t matter what we personally believe, it matters that we believe.

One Without the Other Isn't Enough

There is a poem by Oriah, a poet, author, and mystic who grew up in northern Ontario, Canada. The first stanza of “The Invitation,”

It doesn’t interest me

what you do for a living.

I want to know

what you ache for

and if you dare to dream

of meeting your heart’s longing.

What an invitation to relationship! It goes straight to the heart of the meaning of “Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations,” our third Unitarian Universalist Principle.

Yet, in contemplation, the poem is more personal and demands more from one another than “mere acceptance.” It seems to require compassion and a willingness to travel with another in their search for spiritual growth.

This is what brings us to church. Our need to be with others on this journey we call Life.

Oriah does not shriek from the complexities and demands of relationship.

I want to know

if you can sit with pain

mine or your own

without moving to hide it

or fade it

or fix it.   

I want to know

if you can be with joy

mine or your own

If you can dance with the wildness

and let the ecstasy fill you …

Yes, she makes it clear there are joys and sorrows which we must share if we are to travel together.

But she does not forget what we must do on our communal journey:

It doesn’t interest me

to know where you live

or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up

after the night of grief and despair

weary and bruised to the bone

and do what needs to be done

to feed the children.

Once we commit to being together, there is more to our communal, religious life than the spiritual journey. There is the call of those who are in need of food, water, medical attention, clothing, and compassion.

When service is our prayer, it is empty if we are not seeking, as Jung would say, a deeper, more meaningful existence than the superficiality of our culture.

Nor would spiritual growth alone be enough, for without both, something is missing.

For pondering – see you in church, Rev. Lil

You can find Oriah’s complete poem at http://www.oriahmountaindreamer.com

The Busy Mind and Deep Peace

Sometimes, ever so often, we might take time from our busy lives to sit down a moment and think. At those times, our busy mind may put forth an entirely mundane question such as, "Now what did I need at the drug store?" or it may present us with something deep and reflective, "Am I a happy person?"

These two questions are examples of the depth and breadth of our busy mind. We all know, though, that our busy mind cannot answer those questions. It only wants us to "stay busy."

Psychologists and mystics know more about the busy mind than I do. All I know is that while my mind helps me understand reality, it also offers a never-ending perspective of "What could have been" and "What could be." It rarely lives with me in the present moment.

Psychologists and mystics would agree, that is if they were in the same room, that our busy mind may indeed keep us sane and cognitively aware of that which keeps us alive, but our busy mind also keeps us from deep peace.

Deep peace is a psychological and a spiritual dimension that is possible through meditation, contemplation, or prayer. A lot of people, a lot, do these things and find that their lives are better for doing them. The Buddhists call this sitting.

But there are also many of us, many, who can't find time, for whatever reasons, to sit. Perhaps it is not a priority, or our personalities are not suited, or we just don't relate to sitting.

There is hope though, for us to find that deep peace.

We can find ourselves deep peace when we are involved in something as routine as vacuuming, ironing, or washing the dishes. We don't have to sit and "empty our minds," or "fill our minds" to get to a place of deep peace. Somewhere in the repetitive actions of mundane tasks it is there.

We may not even be aware of getting to that place, or how we did it, but we find ourselves there quite easily. So easily, that our busy minds don't even know it, and thankfully, don't interfere very much, if at all.

And when we finish our task, we find our lives are better.

All of this has scientific merit. Several researchers have shown that the effects seen in the brain are the same, whether a person is sitting or performing mundane tasks that bring about a sort of meditative state.

We don't have to dedicate hours to sitting, unless we want to or need to. We can get lost in the routine of our mundane lives and find deep peace--if we but allow ourselves to go there.

Our busy mind doesn't like us to be in the present with our deep peace, but heck, there are lots of things we don't like about our busy mind. Turnabout is fair play!

Our "Self"

Each of us has a Self. You know, the one we talk to all the time. "Why did you do that?" and "Smile, don't go there," or "If I want that brownie, by G-d, I'll have that brownie, shut up!"

It is not the "busy mind" of our ego that interferes with our praying, contemplating, or meditation. It is the part of our psyche that takes care of us, challenges us to grow emotionally and spiritually, and tries to lead us to maturity.

Carl Jung says some of us get there and some of us don't, and then, there's us in-betweeners who try and try and try, and sometimes we are and sometimes we aren't! I always relate to the pregnant-woman tee-shirt that has an arrow pointing down to her growing tummy and the words say something like "... work in progress."

Our Self is what calls us to our better selves. We have to listen though. We have to be quiet and listen!

Sunshine

Have you noticed how many commercials have references to ... or ... talk about the sun?

There is sunny lipstick, and sunshine sausage, and a bright sunny day to driver your "new car," etc.

We cannot live without the sun, yet it shines on us only half the time. The other half of our time is darkness with the moon illuminating us.

I can't help but surmise that we need the dark equally as much as we need the light.

I used to want to "cut out," or throw away the "dark of me." A wise therapist told me that dark is the fertilizer in our lives. "We all need fertilizer to grow--plants and us," she said.

Well, I've got plenty, does anyone need some? Just kidding! We all have the amount we need to become the person Life needs us to be.

Celebrate the sun and the moon of our being, share our whole selves, oh, not by telling others about the fertilizer, but by being authentic and loving in relationships. By showing our sun-side and growing from our moon-side.

Contemplation in the Check-out Line

I dont really mind waiting in line to check out at the grocery store. If truth be told, the trend toward faster check-outs irritates me a little. I know, most Americans living our busy lives get irritated by long lines, and merchants have increasingly responded to our lack of patience by providing express lanes, "limited number" lines, and self-checkout, as well as increased staff in high-volume hours.

See, I learned a while back, that there is plenty of interesting reading material available for those who have to wait in line. There is always a magazine which has the latest information on fashion, or diets, or the results of a nation-wide poll on "how to find your love," or "how to keep your love," or "how to get your love back." There may be a magazine with the latest reproduction results of the beautiful, the talented, or the rich. And, usually there is at least one magazine, if not more, that covers the same stories Nancy Grace covers on her nightly "news show." Please, do not mistake the previous sentence for an endorsement of Grace. If you are surfing channels and stop on her show for about a minute, you will discover the latest newsworthy conversation on who is missing, kidnapped, or murdered in our society.

And that brings me to the cover of a magazine I saw yesterday that said, "Casey Anthony, the Most Hated Woman in America."

Why does everyone want to hate Casey? Why do people want her in prison? The jury listened to the presentations and witnesses of the trial, and found her guilty of a minor infraction of child neglect.

We want to hate her because she "lost" her child. If any one of us lost our child, we'd find ourselves investigated, tried, and convicted of child abandonment, endangerment, and anything else Child Protective Services could throw at us. It doesn't seem real that a woman could lose her child and not be punished severely.

The news media believes bad news sells. Nancy Grace and others like her believe there is always a "bad guy." Well, maybe there is, but there are an awful lot of us out here who are crazy scared we might, out of ignorance, allow something to happen to our children. All of us may be more worried about what we may or may not do to our children, than we are afraid that a neighbor may be a serial child murderer.

Oh the things I think about in the check-out line.

So we hate Casey because she had the same responsibilities we have as parents and grandparents. She failed miserably. We can forget our worries if we hate her.

Anyway, there are a lot of things to think about in the check-out line, and those tabloids can provide amusement and thoughtful reflection.

The "Why" in Our Lives

I suppose all of us, at different times in our lives, wonder "why" there is racism and other negative "isms" in our world.

We see others' negative behavior in all kinds of situations, day in and day out. And we know it is predicated on their understanding of their world. It is their visible actions of the negative "isms" they hold to be true.

In turn, there are times we exhibit those same behaviors. Oh, don't try to say, "Not me!" Because we know, all of us, at some time or other, are guilty of behavior based on our own negative "isms."

Its not pretty to admit to them, and we would rather remember those times when we have been especially inclusive, or compassionate, or welcoming. But this other part of our selves stares at us in introspective moments.

A very long time ago, twenty-five years or so, I was in a women-only support group. All of us were American-born, except one woman. She was a very bright intellectual who happened to be born in another country, far, far away. I am not proud of the way my interactions with her progressed, and without going into detail, I confess, I am still bothered today by my ignorance and rudeness.

Thankfully, at some point in my life, I began to grow as a human being. My belief in the worth and dignity of each person, and my desire to be more respectful of others' spiritual growth, even though it was different than mine, became paramount in my life. I confess, I was in my forties before this attitude became central to my psyche.

It was well into my fifties before I gained a real understanding of compassion, which I am sometimes, and which I am not at other times, even when I need to be. I continue to explore this.

The "why" of my negative behavior predicated on my personal "isms," is that I grew up in a very homogenous environment, and I was always more comfortable with those who looked like me than those who looked different than me.  If we look closely, we see this dynamic in many human behaviors.

It is easier to be comfortable in all our "isms"; it is easier to live our understanding of the world that we know, than it is to change and embrace difference.

The "why" is as deep as our genetics and as wide as our cultures. And the worst part of all this?

It takes some of us a lifetime, if we grew up with a lot of negative "isms." And even those of us who grew up in a more progressive environment, we still have to overcome the genetic and cultural inclinations to be comfortable with sameness. And some of us never feel the need nor the necessity of opening ourselves to differences.

Perhaps we will someday be able to embrace each others' differences. From where I'm sitting, it looks like it will be a long time before that will happen. Maybe it is something future generations will be able to do. For today, all we can do is change ourselves. All we can do is answer our own, very personal "why."

With what lens do we read?

Always searching for deeper, broader, and diverse meaning in my reading, I found a book titled Such Is Life! A Close Encouner with Ecclesiates by Lloyd Geering.

Ecclesiastes is one of the last books included in the Hebrew Scriptures. It is believed to have been written by a sage after the return of the tribes from their Babylonian captivity in 586 BCE. It is, Geering suggests the humanist tradition of the Hebrew heritage.

Yes, you read correctly, the humanist tradition of the Hebrew Scriptures.

"... the sages were not concerned with the destiny of the Israelite people as a whole. They focused on the daily life of the human individual. ... were interested not in Israelites alone, but in all humans."

Ecclesiates is part of the "wisdom tradition" of the returning tribespeople, who brought back to Israel a more universal view of humankind. This "widsom tradition" is unlike the storical religious tradition of the Hebrew people who were left behind.

These returning sages of wisdom and humanism "spoke of Wisdom in much the same way as the Greeks spoke of the Logos or Reason... They exhorted people to take full responsiblity for their own lives and not to look to God to deliver them from evil by miraculous interventions..." [Geering]

Many of us place a certain amount of faith or belief in the humanist tradition. I am wondering how many of us have ever read Ecclesiates with the hermeneutical lens of humanist thought?

See the bright hot sun on the trees and the bushes

Sitting here looking at the many varieties of greens present in the back yard. So many greens I cannot count them. But counting them might be a good idea.

Often I have suggested that the best thing on a deep-freeze day is to stay in, reflect, and ruminate. It seems a good idea for these above-average, 100+ degree days in the south I'm experiencing this summer. From North Carolina to Houston, to Phoenix, to Las Vegas, it has been especially hot. Although the least hot place I've been this summer is Vegas!

Stay in, reflect, and ruminate on the possiblities of your gifts, your talents, and your ability to love. "The ability to love," may take more than one day, because in that subject you have not only the loves you know, but you also have to ask the questions, "Have I loved enough?" and "Do I need to love differently?"

So much upon which to ponder.

And if you don't like these topics--count the many varieties of green you see outside your windows.
Stay out of the heat!
Lillie