The "Why" in Our Lives

I suppose all of us, at different times in our lives, wonder "why" there is racism and other negative "isms" in our world.

We see others' negative behavior in all kinds of situations, day in and day out. And we know it is predicated on their understanding of their world. It is their visible actions of the negative "isms" they hold to be true.

In turn, there are times we exhibit those same behaviors. Oh, don't try to say, "Not me!" Because we know, all of us, at some time or other, are guilty of behavior based on our own negative "isms."

Its not pretty to admit to them, and we would rather remember those times when we have been especially inclusive, or compassionate, or welcoming. But this other part of our selves stares at us in introspective moments.

A very long time ago, twenty-five years or so, I was in a women-only support group. All of us were American-born, except one woman. She was a very bright intellectual who happened to be born in another country, far, far away. I am not proud of the way my interactions with her progressed, and without going into detail, I confess, I am still bothered today by my ignorance and rudeness.

Thankfully, at some point in my life, I began to grow as a human being. My belief in the worth and dignity of each person, and my desire to be more respectful of others' spiritual growth, even though it was different than mine, became paramount in my life. I confess, I was in my forties before this attitude became central to my psyche.

It was well into my fifties before I gained a real understanding of compassion, which I am sometimes, and which I am not at other times, even when I need to be. I continue to explore this.

The "why" of my negative behavior predicated on my personal "isms," is that I grew up in a very homogenous environment, and I was always more comfortable with those who looked like me than those who looked different than me.  If we look closely, we see this dynamic in many human behaviors.

It is easier to be comfortable in all our "isms"; it is easier to live our understanding of the world that we know, than it is to change and embrace difference.

The "why" is as deep as our genetics and as wide as our cultures. And the worst part of all this?

It takes some of us a lifetime, if we grew up with a lot of negative "isms." And even those of us who grew up in a more progressive environment, we still have to overcome the genetic and cultural inclinations to be comfortable with sameness. And some of us never feel the need nor the necessity of opening ourselves to differences.

Perhaps we will someday be able to embrace each others' differences. From where I'm sitting, it looks like it will be a long time before that will happen. Maybe it is something future generations will be able to do. For today, all we can do is change ourselves. All we can do is answer our own, very personal "why."